As the walls get bare
the emptiness grows
Trying with all my might
to hold on
to my strong self
Trying with all I have
to hold back
the bereavement
of this double loss...
Failing
minute after minute
with moments of clarity
in between.
I beg for amnesia
This week never happened
I beg to wake
to my new self
surfing
balancing still
in the Tree pose
spinning the hoola hoop
belly dancing
back
in love and life.
But this week is determined
to crawl like a snail
over shards of glass
calling for surrender.
How do you know
you dont need it
she asks
Because you dont have it!
Struggling to get my head around that one
I surrender
to what is
and what isnt.
And ponder
the absurdity of
how what isnt
can hurt more than that
what is.
Or does "what isnt" with its absent presence, denying and volumous emptiness actually become "what is" and hence awfully real? That sounds suspiciously like a trick of the mind,a delusional mind, a pained mind, a mind looking for an excuse not to be true to reality and the moment.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if I am losing the plot today. A dialogue with myself...whatever next??
I don't know to say... nothing is here that I haven't felt. I know you are writing for you... so i'll say no more
ReplyDelete