My Voice

Dont have one.
Encouraged not to trust it,
not to trust self.
Always admiring the outspoken ones
in awe.
Remembering the thrill
of expressive declamation,
now completely unable
to unfold, strain those voice cords,
memorise
not to mention the anxiety...
No voice.
Not even one inside.
Not much to say either.
Nodding has got me so far
May be it will see me through
I wonder...
If not for this tightness
in my chest,
needing to be released,
its beginning to hurt.
Now where did I leave it???