Is There a Light

at the end of this tunnel

I remember a night
in the hills of Ireland
lost
we approached a black pit
there was no other way
we couldnt go over it
we couldnt go under it
we had to go through it
blackness like you can not imagine
nothing that an eye can percieve
and not much ahead
just a belief
no actually knowledge
(but this is debatable)
that there is a way out of this

three things I learnt:
every black hole has an exit
vodka makes everything better
and that one-
about a friends hand being a life saver
when you're scared.

Why Indeed

Why do I come here?
Many times a day
Logging on
Typing in passwords

That there are no answers here
I found out a long time ago

Trying to fill this wanting
the most normal of them all
to share my moments with
someone close
to feel close
to be close
to get closer and closer

All this achieves
is a bonding
between me
and my machine.
My fingertips kissing the keys,
Couldnt get any closer.

As for that wanting-
still unfulfilled...

Why do I come here indeed

On Closeness

All This Time

Surprised again,
Another insight
you seem to know
better than I-

Time on my own
Never acknowledged
Never appreciated
Never named-
It is my lifeline!

Not enough of it,
Never enough of it
Now I'm having to allocate
An hour for letters
An hour for reading
and miscellaneous

Ridiculous?
Yet such an improvement
on just before...

I expand with
all this time
filling up
my lungs and my head

Now I see
Time on your own
has to be understood
It is not scary
It is not isolating
It is not deprivation of another
of attention

For some
it is just as essential
as breath

Emotional Immaturity

It is all true
that you said

Neither of us
feeling any better for it
though somehow
its been helpful

No, dont spare my feelings
I've never reciprocated
after all

Kick me hard
And keep kicking
It doesnt hurt enough yet
to change

Growing old
before growing up
this would be
a disgrace

Remaining a needy victim
ever so sorry for myself
this cant go on
you are right

I've got to thank you sincerely
Though I doubt
this will make you
any happier.

Playing

Dangerous game this
that involves
unstable minds
constant inconsistency
impatience

Strongest undercurrents
they are the ones
that matter
but the storm on the surface
will destroy
everything
over and over again

This is and this isnt a game you know
depending on whether or not
you know the rules.

Arty encounter

A guitar player at an airport
He was some place else
The music opened the door wide
Anyone could have found him
But we dont have time
We dont have the courage
For that place
Except for a moment

Still
A breath of fresh air